The 8 Mind-Body Methods to End Anxiety, AI and GI Conditions

Emotions are fundamental to the mind–body connection; they serve as the glue that binds our mental and physical experiences. Therefore, emotion regulation is essential to healing because how we feel influences our physiological responses, affects our immune system, and plays a critical role in the development and progression of diseases.Fulvio D’Acquisto. “Affective Immunology: Where Emotions and the Immune Response Converge.” Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience 19 no. 1 (2017): 9–19. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2017.19.1/fdacquisto Emotions trigger reactions through the autonomic nervous system, which regulates involuntary physiologic processes, including heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, digestion, and arousal. 

Psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) is the field that studies how thoughts and emotions influence the immune system. Positive emotions can enhance immune function, and chronic negative emotions can suppress it, making the body more susceptible to illness. Emotions such as joy, love, and gratitude can trigger the release of beneficial neuropeptides and hormones, enhancing cellular function and promoting health. In contrast, emotions such as fear, anger, and sadness can result in the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which can suppress immune function and contribute to inflammation and disease. This means that our emotional experiences can directly alter cellular functions. In short, emotions can either promote health and healing or contribute to the onset of illness and disease.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cell biologist, has explored how emotions and beliefs influence our biology. He emphasizes that our perceptions and thoughts can influence the cellular environment. Lipton’s work in epigenetics demonstrates that genes are not the sole determinants of our health; instead, our environment, including our emotional and psychological states, can modify gene expression.Bruce H. Lipton, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, and Miracles. (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House Publishing, 2008). 

Emotions are more than feelings. Science, along with the field of PNI, has demonstrated why internal or external stress factors, our core beliefs, and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) all affect immune responses and overall health. Thoughts create emotions, and emotions create thoughts. This bidirectional relationship is influenced by stress. So, the most important mind–body method to heal is to regulate emotions. Of course, this is easier said than done.

Start by understanding the role of emotions; be curious about them, holding no judgment for them. This puts our feelings into perspective. Next, we need to allow ourselves to feel and find a healthy way to express those emotions. Emotions come and go, and expressing them helps flush them out faster. An unexpressed emotion becomes a mood, which can last for days and weeks on end and affect those we love most. So, avoid allowing emotions to build up. Emotions can be buried alive if they remain unexpressed, and they will come out to haunt you at the most inconvenient time. Whether positive or negative, acknowledge them; hold no judgment for them; express them either verbally, if possible, or write them down, even if you throw the paper away—just get them out. We’re seeking homeostasis, a balance, by limiting the highs and lows that emotions create. 

Building onto the first mind–body method is the second one. Our thoughts have a profound impact on our emotional and physical well-being. A 2005 article from scholars at the National Science Foundation summarized the existing research, which suggests that the average person thinks 12,000–60,000 thoughts per day. This research also suggests that 80% of these thoughts are negative, and 95% are repetitive. That equates to nearly 10,000–48,000 negative thoughts per day! Because our thoughts influence our emotions, we have to learn how to transform ANTs into automatic loving thoughts (ALTs). ANTs are involuntary and often irrational, and they can perpetuate stress and anxiety. They are spontaneous and usually go unnoticed. They often involve distorted thinking patterns such as catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, and negative self-talk. Persistent ANTs can lead to chronic stress, contributing to the onset and exacerbation of gastrointestinal (GI) and autoimmune (AI) conditions. For instance, a child with a chronic illness might constantly think, “I’ll never get better,” which can heighten anxiety and worsen their symptoms.

Start by catching ANTs before they spread. By observing when an ANT arrives, we can learn to recognize it and do something healthy with it. I suggest transforming ANTs into ALTs. Instead of thinking “I’ll never get better,” try “I love that my condition is temporary. I will overcome this.” 

Chronic stress can lead to prolonged activation of the body’s survival mechanisms, resulting in hormonal imbalances and inflammation, which are key factors in the development of chronic diseases. Conversely, positive beliefs and emotions can promote a state of relaxation and healing, supporting the body’s natural regenerative processes. I’ve discussed the wide range of internal and external sources of stress and anxiety we face in today’s modern society. Plus, studies show stress is contagious, being transmitted through social interactions, especially within families.Ezra Golberstein, Janis L. Whitlock, and Marilyn F. Downs, “Social Contagion of Mental Health: Evidence From College Roommates,” Health Economics 22, no. 8 (2013): 965–986. https://doi.org/10.1002/hec.2873 A child’s stress can increase if they sense their parents’ anxiety about medical bills or their condition, exacerbating their symptoms. Stress is not only a personal experience but also a social one.

Chronic stress is the enemy of our well-being. We have to learn how to protect our peace so our children can protect theirs as well.

Recall that the limbic system, in particular the amygdala, is involved in detecting and responding to threats. It triggers our natural fight, flight, or freeze survival mechanism, which works great when we are temporarily facing danger. But if the limbic system is chronically triggered, remaining in a heightened state of alert, our immune system becomes compromised, which can lead to the development or worsening of diseases due to increased inflammation, digestive disruption, and immune system suppression.Brianna Chu, Komal Marwaha, Terrence Sanvictores, et al. Physiology, Stress Reaction (Treasure Island, FL: StatPearls Publishing, 2024).  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK541120/ 

The limbic system also stores emotional memories, such as past traumas. These memories can be triggered by present-day circumstances, which can release the limbic system’s fight, flight, or freeze response as if the memory were brought back to life in that moment. For children with chronic illness and past traumatic medical experiences, the limbic system can lead to heightened anxiety and stress in future medical situations.

Knowing about the limbic system is the first step to getting your body out of a state of limbo. But additional steps can be taken to reduce, even eliminate, these chronic stressors. Refer back to Part III for more details.

These first four mind–body methods to empower your child to heal are backed by science as well as my own personal and professional experiences. Regulating our emotions, monitoring and changing our thoughts, and learning to manage stress provide a solid foundation for my Safety-Based Protocol, allowing us to heal from anxiety, GI, and AI disorders. The next four methods focus on the psychology of healing and reframing our behaviors to support healing. When we put this chapter together with the next one, and implement them in our daily lives, we remove insecurity while increasing our ability to heal our body and its correlating stress responses. We soon will be creating immunity to threats to our safety. 

Let’s get into the psychology of healing now. 

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby, explains how early relationships with caregivers shape our emotional and social development. These attachment styles influence how we respond to stress and form relationships throughout life. I covered these in more detail in Chapter 5.

• Anxious attachment (aka the Bulldozer or Helicopter parent). People with an anxious attachment style have a fear of abandonment and intense emotional responses. This style can lead to heightened stress and anxiety, impacting physical health.

• Avoidant attachment (aka the Avoidant parent). This attachment style is characterized by emotional distance and self-reliance. Avoidant individuals may suppress emotions, and they may refuse to let others to express theirs, which can lead to chronic stress and associated health problems.

• Fearful–avoidant attachment (aka the Disorganized Parent). This is a mix of two attachment styles and is characterized by a lack of a coherent coping strategy, often because of trauma. This attachment style is associated with higher levels of stress and a greater risk of developing psychosomatic illnesses.

• Secure attachment (aka the Lighthouse parent). This attachment style is characterized by trust and a sense of safety. People with secure attachment are generally better at managing stress and have healthier coping mechanisms. 

Chronic invalidation occurs when an individual’s feelings, thoughts, or experiences are consistently dismissed or ignored by others. This can happen in family dynamics, social interactions, or medical settings. Chronic invalidation can lead to feelings of worthlessness, depression, and anxiety. It undermines self-esteem and can contribute to the development of mental health disorders. The stress and emotional pain caused by chronic invalidation can manifest in physical symptoms, including GI and AI conditions. Chronic stress from invalidation can disrupt the gut–brain axis and weaken the immune system.

Patients with chronic illnesses often report feeling dismissed or not taken seriously by health care providers, which exacerbates their stress and symptoms. Children who grow up in environments where their feelings and experiences are invalidated may develop chronic health issues because of the prolonged stress and emotional turmoil.

Parents can turn this around by using active listening and validating what they are hearing. This is not the time to fix your child’s problem: Just listen, empathize with how they are feeling, and seek to understand what they are going through. See Chapter 5 for more information on this topic.

Secondary gains are the indirect benefits a person receive from being ill (see Chapter 7 for details). These can include attention, sympathy, financial support, or relief from responsibilities. Think of a secondary gain as a subconscious pressure cooker relief valve. Although the primary gain of being sick might be symptom relief, secondary gains can unconsciously reinforce the illness. The benefits associated with being unwell can create a psychological barrier to recovery. Secondary gains can perpetuate illness by reinforcing the role of sick person. Children may find it difficult to recover if they feel that being well would lead to a loss of support, or to increased responsibilities. Understanding secondary gains while reserving judgment or direct confrontation about them will benefit you and your child in the long run. 

A common secondary gain from illness is not attending school or completing homework assignments. Your goal as the parent is to decrease the value of the secondary gain without overt commands or threats; instead, validate and relate without judgment. For example: “I can imagine it may sometimes feel good to miss school. I can understand that. When you’re ready, I will be. too.”

When sick with a GI or an AI condition, a person subconsciously goes through phases of healing, and can be in any of these phases at any time. These phases include the Martyr, Victim, Survivor, Thriver, and Warrior, and they were elaborated on in Chapters 9 and 10. Each phase can occur at any time in life, not just during times of trauma or sickness, but your child typically will exhibit signs of being in one phase or the other. The goal is to help them move through each phase until they reach the Warrior phase. During stressful times, a particular phase may become more exaggerated. With the benefit of self-awareness, insight, and the courage to be vulnerable, most of us can identify when we in a particular phase.

The Victim and Martyr phases are most closely associated with the disease progression process with the infiltration of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs); negative core beliefs; and the feeling that one is a captive of one’s own mind and body, with no sense of a way out. In these two phases, the person does not take accountability for their role, thoughts, words, or actions in the healing or disease process. What sets a Victim apart from a Martyr and from becoming a Survivor on the way to healing is accountability. When we can hold ourselves accountable for our role in the disease process, we switch from a mindset of being a victim of our reality to being the creator of our lives. You can’t force your child out of the Victim or Martyr phases, and please don’t call them out; instead, model for them what you would like to see for them. Take gentle accountability for your role in your own ANTs and your own stress contagion, and create moments to build accountability and self-efficacy. Promote the effort of your child’s actions, not the result. 

Once a child can feel accomplished, they begin to want more. Even grocery shopping builds resilience and self-efficacy. Therein lies the shift—a desire to feel better internally. 

Developing awareness of your own ANTs can help your child build awareness of their own. Remember, emotions are contagious; so are healing phases. Birds of a feather flock together; we are who we spend our time with. So, ask yourself, are you a victim of your life, or are you taking accountability, challenging your ANTs, protecting your peace and spreading automatic loving thoughts and peace? Is your attachment style creating a reality for you independent of your role as parent? If you can model the Survivor and Warrior phases, your child can follow you.